ummmm.... guys don't use those.

OK, so a pal of mine who contributes to a clean-tech blog got a pitch email. He's a guy. He forwarded it to me. He said it would be OK for me to republish. I'll leave out names to be kind. But here it is.

As you and your [clean-tech blog name] readers know, Earth Day is right around the corner and people will most likely be focused on typical issues such as plastic water bottle usage, energy consumption, and recycling habits. What many people don’t consider when 'going green' is their usage of deodorants and douching systems.

Of the 300 million people in the United States, more than 90 percent use deodorant on a regular basis. In 2006, Americans spent more than 2.3 billion dollars on deodorant and antiperspirant.

An interesting Earth Day topic to feature might be that a product your readers use daily unnecessarily contributes to the growth of our landfills. An alternative to offer your readers is [product name].

[Product name] is a stainless steel bar used in the shower that successfully eliminates body odor. Stainless steel paired with tap water is a secret that chefs have been using for many years to rid their hands of food odor such as fish, garlic, and onion. This product is reusable and never needs to be replaced, which reduces the amount of waste people send to landfills.

Approximately 37 percent of women douche on a regular basis, and over the counter (OTC) douching products are not reusable. If this many women are douching on a regular basis then our landfills are being filled with these products.

A way for females to feel clean and to be more eco-friendly is to use a product called [product name], a feminine cleansing system that can be used over and over again. [Product name] is safer than other OTC feminine cleansing systems because it uses no chemicals, which is also better for the environment.

Do you need a product sample to review for your story? If needed, I can provide you with samples and images.

Let me know if you need an interview with the spokesperson and I can get you in touch with [spokesperson name].

Talk to you soon,

[junior PR person name]

I could pontificate on the myriad levels of wrong this email displays for hours but instead I'll just say one thing.

Seriously, MAKE IT STOP.